Since I started coaching women about how to enhance their fertility, many of them have shared with me that hearing the stories of women who have overcome infertility markedly increases their hope. Today, I’d like to share my story.
My Story of Victory over Infertility
I struggled with “unknown factors” of infertility. I was in my late 20’s when we started “trying” so my age really wasn’t a factor. There was never a firm diagnosis that specifically confirmed why I was not getting pregnant. I did however have a gynecologist tell me that I may never get pregnant. That was devastating news.
As a woman, I felt inadequate. I couldn’t do the ONE thing that women can do that men can’t—get pregnant. At times, I felt as if people pitied me, even though they did not. Sometimes I felt like an outcast, even though my friends welcomed me in their activities. But that was the painful part.
Having reached the age where all my close friends had children meant being around their kids whenever I attended any of their activities. I loved their children and had fun with them. But I felt out of place not having a child of my own playing along with all the others. I remember trying to convince myself that it was OK…but it wasn’t! It hurt!
I went through a battery of tests to determine why I was not getting pregnant. None of the tests produced conclusive results. I did have fibroids and as a result, had very heavy periods. There were also D&C surgeries and infections to live through. Going through the journey of infertility and all that comes along with it was not what I had signed up for in my “perfect” life.
I Couldn’t Give Up or Give In
But I decided that it was not going to give authority to infertility and allow it to be a source of depression nor a reason to become a hermit. I would choose to enjoy life as it came and to do whatever it took to make the best of each day.
Doctor’s reports were a source of frustration but God’s report in the Bible was my source of hope. Choosing to stand on God’s Word was an easy choice; actually doing it was not. It was a battle against my will, which wanted to do the easy thing and give up.
Making a stand for anything requires that you fight back against numerous attacks, not just one. I had to do just that- –fight against numerous thoughts that were fearful, doubtful, and shame-filled everyday. Yes, I was ashamed that I could not get pregnant. No one else made me feel that way. It was self-inflicted.
#ttc - I was ashamed that I could not get pregnant. No one else made me feel that way. It was self-inflicted. Share on XIsn’t it amazing what our own mind can do to inflict emotional pain on ourselves? The Word of God was my way out of that inner turmoil. I decided to keep “trying” no matter how long it took and watch God work it out.
Thankfully, God gave me wisdom through various friends and family members. They each encouraged me to keep my hope high and to not give in to the fear of never having children.
For the rest of the story, read Part 2 of my story of victory over infertility. 🙂