In conjunction with the release of my book, Live To Win! 5 Essentials for Victory and Success, I’m excited to have provided a series of guest posts over the last few weeks. These folks are special to me, having coached me in one way or another to achieve my career goals and experience victories at various times and in various areas of my life.
Today’s guest post is the final installment in this series. I’m pleased to share with you the insights from Shelly Ryan. She is a certified life coach who helps people dig into their dreams and take action to make them happen. She helped me to take action and host my first iHope Fertility Retreat. Shelly has experienced many victories in life and shares a few of them with us.
Victories in This Game Called LIFE
When I received my “Thank You for Working for the Federal Government for Five Years” certificate it felt like a slap in the face. I know some people would be thrilled having a comfortable federal job with a Thrifty Savings Plan account, but for me, it felt like a death sentence. I was working long hours, had no work/life balance, was extremely unhealthy and had to drag myself into work every day. I was completely caught up in the hamster wheel…wake up, go to work, come home, watch TV, go to sleep, repeat. I felt unhappy for a while, but my discontent was not strong enough for me to do anything about it. When I read that certificate, I knew it was time to take action.
So I quit! I wouldn’t necessarily recommend that to everyone, but for me, I needed to slow down and figure out what was important and I knew I couldn’t do that while I was still working at that job. It took me a few months to figure it out, but once I did, I haven’t looked back even once.
It hasn’t always been easy, but taking that leap of faith ten years ago has led to so many victories. Here are some of my favorites.
I Love My Work
When I was figuring out what was next for me, I spent time getting really clear about my gifts, talents, passions and values. Prior to that, I applied for jobs that had position descriptions that I thought I was qualified for and found myself fitting into those criteria. I honed some valuable skills and learned a ton along the way, but never did I have a job that fully utilized my true gifts and talents. Nor did I ever work for anyone that was terribly concerned with helping me figure out what those were and how to best utilize them. Once I took the time to figure out what was important to me, I have been able to choose work that is in alignment with my true self and I fully enjoy all of the work that I do!
Since I made the decision to become an entrepreneur, I gave up the comfort of a paycheck every other week. That decision brought up a lot of insecurities – can I pay my bills this month; do I have enough money to do the things I want to do; can I give what I want to give; will I have enough to retire? These are all things I worried about even when I had a regular paycheck and were exacerbated when I didn’t. What has been truly amazing is that during these ten years, I have always had enough. I’ve developed a new belief and reliance on God that He will take care of me no matter what. When one project started to get really slow, another would develop. When my savings started to drop, a new opportunity would appear. I tell my clients regularly that you have to be very clear about WHAT you want and leave HOW it will happen up to God. That has become my practice.
I Understand My Worth
I finally learned how to love me. Even though it sounds cliché and that we should all know that, I honestly didn’t know what that meant. I was very reliant on the input I got from my bosses and colleagues to understand my worth. If I got a good performance review, I felt good about myself. If someone asked me to take on a new project, that made me feel needed. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why I was working so many long hours…I produced because I wanted to get accolades to feel better about myself and because I produced, more was given to me. It’s not that feedback and input isn’t important to me now, but I understand that it is just that—feedback. It isn’t me. It isn’t what makes me valuable or worthy. I still produce, but for very different reasons.
I Take Care of Myself
I would never think of missing a 10:00 staff meeting, but I can’t tell you how many times I put a 6:00 workout on my calendar and it would get pushed because of either being too tired, or I had to finish a project. My priorities have most definitely changed since I made that decision ten years ago. I now exercise regularly doing things I never even dreamed of before — hiking, yoga, stand up paddle boarding, meditation and boxing. I’ve learned to eat healthy (green drinks, gluten-free, reduced sugar—seriously???). I take quarterly rejuvenation adventures (just got back from a yoga/meditation retreat in Oregon this quarter and went to Africa last quarter.) And I make a solid effort to get eight hours of sleep every night (in spite of much teasing from my friends that I go to bed at 7:00 pm!) All of these things were nearly foreign to me just a few years ago but are now a part of who I am.
These last ten years have been an adventure for sure! I’ve gotten to travel all across the world, open my heart up for love, care for my father during his battle with cancer…all of these opportunities opened up for me when I decided to take action and make a change. Loving what I do, increasing my faith, understanding my worth and taking care of myself are some of my victories as a result of that change. I can’t wait to see what the next ten+ years have in store for me! 🙂
Thanks for sharing!
Shelly, you are an inspiration. When we met I felt right away your good energy. Didn’t know you were a life coach until you told me recently, that is awesome! I just got my certification and looking forward to start my own coaching career. Many kisses!!!
Yes Claudia, I agree—Shelly is an inspiration! 🙂