Tag: Valorie Burton

An Adoption Story of Hope

Posted on by Evangeline

I subscribe to a number of emailed newsletters that help me become a better author, a better business woman, and especially, a better person. I recently received one from life coach, Valorie Burton. In it, she shared exciting and encouraging news—along with her struggles of conceiving over the age of 40 and a miscarriage. This is her personal story of how her dream to become a mommy has come true. I share it, with her permission, because I think it will encourage you to not give up hope, even if adoption is is not the path to parenthood that you choose.

 Valorie’s Story:

My lifelong dream has come true. Our lives have changed dramatically and beautifully in the last month. Since marrying my husband in 2013, I’ve been a “bonus” mom to two sweet, energetic, loving little girls. And now, God has seen fit to expand our family with a beautiful baby boy we’ve been privileged to adopt!  That’s right. I’ve become a mommy.

If you’ve read my books or followed me for a while, you know this has been a dream deferred, but I have never given up on the vision I’ve sensed deep in my spirit for marriage and family.  At times, I have felt frustrated, helpless, and discouraged, but I refused to give up hope. I could not.  To give up hope would be to give up on God. As I stand in the midst of this vision of love that has unfolded, I feel led to share my lessons learned so I can encourage you to persevere towards your own vision – whatever that vision might be:   

  1. Keep hoping.
    Without hope, there is no vision. When you stop hoping, you start settling. Be relentless and focused. At times, it may even appear you are delusional to keep hoping. So what! Keep believing in your vision and make your decisions, whether about relationships, finances, career, that honor your ultimate goal.
      
  2. Don’t let disappointments become your destination.
    Separation and divorce. Navigating the tumultuous dating landscape of Atlanta. Trying to conceive over 40. Miscarrying twins. All have been my reality in the last seven years. Each could have become a bitter destination, except for this: I refused to see my disappointments as a permanent destination.  Some were devastating detours. I had to stop journeying for a while and recover. But I made a decision to be better and not bitter after each one. I made a decision not to get stuck staring at the obstacles before me, but to look up and remember the vision in my heart. That vision compelled me to keep hoping and keep moving forward.
      
  3. Be open to a path that looks different than you expected.
    It is easy to be rigid about how your dream must come together. Don’t. Be open to divine orchestration. Let go of your need to control the “how” of your vision so you can stay focused on the “why” – which leads me to this last point …
      
  4. Stay focused on the PURPOSE of your vision more than the excitement of it.
    At points, I began to doubt whether I would ever become a mother, and before that, whether I would ever find the kind of love I believe in.  A transformational message emerged from my doubt, though. I asked myself, “What if you never marry?” “What if you never have a child?” And I answered my “What if” questions. Here’s what I realized:  The world would not come to an end, so I better learn to be happy regardless of the outcome! If I didn’t get married or have children, I would live my life single without children and I would choose to have an incredible life. There are many women I greatly admire who are single without children – and happy, purposeful, loved and loving. So then, what would be the purpose of marriage and family in my life?  That is the question I needed to answer for myself.  I don’t believe that having a child is about me becoming a mom. I believe it is about having the blessed opportunity to nurture and grow a child God has seen fit to place in my care.  What an honor. It is about him, not me.  And perhaps that is the shift in thinking that shifted my life and brought us this amazing, perfect little boy for us. 

A Call to Action for you:  Don’t give up on God (Genesis 18:14). Stay connected to Him through His promises found in His Word. Hear His quiet voice within you giving you wisdom about how to proceed along your path. You can find more encouragement in A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility.

A Seed of Hope
A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility by Evangeline Colbert

Rest vs. Work

Posted on by Evangeline

Valorie Burton's bookI recently received an email from business coach, Valorie Burton, that spoke to something that’s been on my heart for a while. Here’s an excerpt from her newsletter:

“While returning from a speaking engagement on an evening flight, the pilot announced that he expected we would land a few minutes early. Instead, as we approached, nearby thunderstorms changed the plan. For more than an hour – as daylight turned to evening – we circled.  At first, I found myself – like many of the passengers – feeling agitated. Then I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and enjoyed a few moments of rest.

I’ve noticed that so often in life, when we encounter a holding pattern, the natural reaction is one of frustration for having to wait. But a holding pattern serves a greater purpose – protecting you until the right conditions unfold that allow you to land at your destination safely. In our fast-paced world, we are tempted to believe that faster is always better. Sometimes, though, pushing for something to happen in the wrong timing can unnecessarily force you into a storm.”  (c) Copyright 2014 Valorie Burton and Inspire Inc.

Valorie encouraged her readers to “take a deep breath, trust God’s timing and calmly embrace the journey.”

I think that’s what God means when He says to rest in Him. He wants us to receive the lavish, unfailing love He has for us and then trust Him to workout whatever the challenge is that we may be facing. That can be hard to do but I have a feeling that it’s the best way to come out on the other side of that challenge with the results that are best for us.

In the Bible, Sarah did not initially trust God’s timing. She had spent years waiting for His promise of a son. In her impatience, she decided to have her husband, Abram, impregnate her maid, Hagar (Genesis 16). She chose not to rest in God’s love for her. She chose not to trust His promise and His timing. Her choice to not wait for the child of promise did not lead to the fulfillment of her hope for a child. What resulted from her “pushing for something to happen,” has been manifested as a centuries-long conflict between the Arab descendants of Ismael (the son of Hagar) and the Jewish descendants of Isaac (the son of Sarah).

So today I encourage you to actively seek that place of rest. Rest in knowing that Jesus finished the work on your behalf on the cross and He desires that you accept it to the fullest extent.

Trust His promises.

Trust His wisdom.

Trust that His effort is better than yours so you can relax and wait expectantly with patience and joy.

Why?

His love for you is unfailing, His timing is impeccable, and the presence of His power in the midst of your challenge will bring the desired results of victory (1 Corinthians 15:57).