Tag: Pregnancy

overcoming infertility

My Story of Infertility May Increase and Strengthen Your Hope

Posted on by Evangeline

My Story of Infertility

Every marriage goes through seasons. Just like we confidently expect and prepare for changes in the weather as we move from spring to summer to fall to winter, we should expect changes in our circumstances and prepare for them.

Every marital season requires fresh perspectives and new commitments. We can confidently expect positive change as we transfer our focus from our problem to the ultimate solution that is ALWAYS found in Jesus. Looking to Him is the best form of preparation for any season in life.

I choose to call infertility a season because it’s something that we can expect to change.

But before I go any further, let me give you a bit of my story of infertility.

Because I experienced both infertility and childbirth, I can honestly say that the emotional pain of infertility hurts worse than the physical pain of delivering a baby. As a woman, I felt inadequate during my season of infertility. I thought I was a failure. I couldn’t do the ONE thing that women can do that men can’t–and that is to get pregnant.

My story begins in college at Georgia Tech where I met and fell in love with Freeman. After graduation and working a couple of years we got married and as engineers do, we planned our lives–in detail. We knew how many years we wanted to wait before having kids. And trust me, infertility was nowhere in our plan.

We started “trying” but nothing happened. After multiple visits to doctors, D&C surgeries, and multiple tests, no firm diagnosis was made as to the cause of the infertility but my doctor said indications were that we may never have kids.

My husband and I experienced a roller coaster of emotions–disbelief, fear, anger, sadness, even feeling inferior to our friends who already had children. As time went on, I had to fight against numerous thoughts that were fearful, doubtful, and shame-filled everyday. Yes, I was ashamed that I could not get pregnant. No one else made me feel that way; it was self-inflicted.

I reached a point where I felt I had to make some decisions before moving on to infertility specialists and all the treatments that I may have to endure.  It was in this time frame that I made some decisions (the word “decision” means to cut off all other options).

Decisions I Made

I would not get depressed or become a hermit; I would continue to hang out with my friends and their children and find joy and pleasure in being with them.

  • Psalm 118:24 NKJV – This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.

I would enjoy life while we waited; I would not fall into the trap of thinking that life would begin to be good only when we had children.

  • Nehemiah 8:10 NKJV – Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

I would not do the easy thing and give up without a fight; I would continue to hope.

  • Psalm 71:14 ESV – But I will hope continually and will praise You yet more and more.

I would honor God with my faith by believing in His power to change my situation and by letting Him work it out.

  • 1 Peter 5:7 NLT – Give all your cares and worries to God, for He cares about you.
  • Ephesians 1:19 NLT – I also pray that you would understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe Him.

I would make my marriage the priority—divorce would not be an option. My marriage had to take priority over everything else because I wanted to enjoy living the rest of my life with my husband.

  • Matthew 19:6 NIV – So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together let no one separate.

These decisions were not easy to make nor were they easy to carry out. But they were highly important and extremely powerful in helping my husband and me get through that season of infertility. 

Eventually, I experienced VICTORY! I was able to get pregnant naturally, without any treatments (three times! 🙂 ). Making those decisions to trust God’s Word and to keep believing that His healing Word works made a significant difference in my fertility.

Borrow Some Hope

Now that you know more of my story, I pray that it encourages you and fills some of the holes where your hope has diminished. Hearing about another woman’s story of infertility can be a source of hope when you see how she became an overcomer. God’s promises of fertility are true! “Borrowing” hope from other women’s victories over infertility can help immensely. Some days, it may be the only way to not give up!

I have written a book, Borrowed Hope, about this topic. My friend, Angela Williams, who experienced miscarriage, is my co-author. The book is a unique presentation of Sarah and Abraham’s story of overcoming infertility. Peek into her world and witness her intimate conversations  with Abraham, God, and herself about her season of infertility.

Her story of infertility victory will encourage you and strengthen your hope, propelling you to expect your own victory.

[NOTE] A large portion of this post is an excerpt from the ebook, Infertility Sucks! How to Maintain Hope in Your Marriage During Infertility. Infertility Sucks will give you tips to keep your marriage intact and strong during infertility. You can receive this ebook for FREE, along with other goodies, when you purchase the preorder bundle of Borrowed Hope.  This bundle is available only through October 31, 2018.

victory over infertility

3 Reasons to Believe You Will Get Pregnant

Posted on by Evangeline

Has it been difficult to believe you will get pregnant because you’ve been trying for a while and nothing has happened?

It’s so easy to believe all the negative reports about infertility. We humans are trained through our normal, everyday situations to focus on and remember the negative circumstances of life. But what if there were powerful reasons to believe something radically different from the medical reports and the advice/counsel you get from friends and family? Would you believe?

Believe What God Said

Here are three reasons to believe that you’ll get pregnant and that you are already blessed and empowered to overcome infertility:

  1. God said none should be barren/infertile, not male or female [Deuteronomy 7:14].
  2. God said ALL things are possible with Him [Luke 1:37] and impossible without Him[John 15:5].
  3. God said He is always with you and His Spirit bears witness to the Truth (what God has said) because His Word is truth[ 1 John 5:6; John 17:17].

We’re told in 1 Kings 8:56 that “not one word has failed of all the wonderful promises He gave.” God is truly a promise keeper. Believe what He has said.

Questions

It’s time to be honest with yourself:

Do you believe that God loves you the same way He loves Jesus (John 17:23b)?

  • Yes or No

Are you making requests based on His promises and then expecting Him to do what He promised (1 John 5:14-15)?

  • Yes or No

Are you speaking His Word out loud because He said that it is medicine to your body (Proverbs 4:20-22)?

  • Yes or No

Will you continue to praise Him in advance of seeing your desire come to fruition, trusting that His answer is always YES to anything He has promised (1 Corinthians 1:20)?

  • Yes or No

I hope you answered YES to each of these questions. If not, it’s okay. That just means you’ve got some spiritual homework to do! 🙂

Take time to read all the Scriptures included in this post. Read them out loud to yourself more than once. Read them repeatedly and frequently over the next few days so that they begin to resonate within you. Look for other scriptures that speak specifically to your situation.

Then ask God to show you how to trust Him more. He’ll be sure to say YES.

To help you get started, download my special report, 12 Affirmations of Faith for Fertility. It’s available to you when you request to join our private Facebook group, A Seed of Hope.  It’s a support group of like-minded women, looking to walk this season of infertility with a perspective of faith and hope. I’d love to see you there!

 

 

Mother’s Day and Infertility

Posted on by Evangeline

mother's day infertilityMother’s Day and infertility–they just don’t seem to go together. If you’re in the throes of infertility, is this a difficult time for you?

I remember some years ago when I dreaded Mother’s Day because I was struggling with infertility and it was difficult to get through that Day without feeling inadequate. Despite all the “trying” my husband and I had been doing, nothing was working and I felt like so out-of-place on that Day.

I wanted to experience pregnancy and it seemed that I couldn’t.

I wanted to watch my tummy grow and it seemed like that could very possibly be impossible.

I wanted to feel the baby kicking and moving inside of me and it seemed that I wouldn’t.

“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.”

~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

With infertility, the finite disappointment rolls around on a monthly basis, but don’t allow it to make you lose hope in Jesus’ for love you. Don’t let the doctor’s diagnosis make you lose hope for having a child. There’s a spiritual enemy, the devil, that would love for you to give up on Jesus–don’t let him win. Hope is what gets us through the tough times. I overcame infertility because I did not lose hope…I did not give up on God promises.

Reinforce your hope this week by digging more deeply into God’s promises of fertility. Let them give you courage to rest in His unfailing integrity, His covenantal willingness, and His omnipotent strength. Placing our hope in Jesus is the only sure thing. He desires to be our anchor, especially in times of raging storms.

“We have this HOPE as an anchor for the soul.” ~ Hebrews 6:19

Stay in the Word this week…allow Jesus’ love to speak to you through it. Need some suggestions for some applicable verses to read? Check out the appendix in my fertility devotional, A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility for lots of encouraging passages.

How will you cope with Mother’s Day 2015? Please share with us your ways of maintaining hope!

 

Image courtesy of 89studio | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Infertility and Your Mind

Posted on by Evangeline

Infertility can play tricks on your mind.

It can make you entertain thoughts and feelings that reduce your confidence in God and your self-esteem to nearly nothing. Here’s a tip to help you avoid or get out of that pit of despair:

Practice—on purpose—replacing those negative thoughts with positive thoughts.

(See Philippians 4:8 and 2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

Here’s a wonderful reminder that in Christ you are deeply loved, fully accepted, highly valued, and not forgotten.

Image courtesy of A Coffee Break with God
Image courtesy of A Coffee Break with God

Day 1 of 7 Days of Joy

Posted on by Evangeline
Image courtesy of vectorgirl/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of vectorgirl/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sometimes we just need a simple reminder to find JOY in life.

Here’s the first of seven simple reminders I’d like to give to you.

Grace & Peace,

Evangeline

Sharing Hope

Posted on by Evangeline

I’m grateful today. How to live out my purpose in life is becoming clearer.

It’s evident that my purpose includes bringing hope to those who are suffering with infertility. God has seen fit for me to share the message of my victory over infertility in order to give hope to others.

ASH cover stack Fiverr

Here’s a recent review of my book, “A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility” from an Amazon customer:

“I’m glad I can find healing and hope that God will bless us with children. Very inspiring and helpful.” ~M.B.

Please understand this— infertility has a spiritual aspect that must not be ignored. If you’re looking for some help to address it, A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility will do just that. This is a devotional that will give you continual hope so that you too can live out your purpose and help others by sharing your stories of victory.

Do you know someone who needs hope in the midst of infertility? Is it you?

Order A Seed of Hope now on Amazon, Smashwords.com or Barnesandnoble.com  (and coming soon to iTunes).

Infertility Retreat Update

Posted on by Evangeline

joyoftheLord jpg

 

 

 

To give you the best experience possible, the infertility retreat has been rescheduled for the Spring of 2014.

 

 

Why you need to be there:

  • Gather with a small group of women who are also struggling with infertility but are looking for ways to avoid the pit of despair and some practical applications of HOPE.
  • Enjoy a weekend in an intimate setting at a beautiful location in Arizona.
  • Participate in no-pressure workshops that help you address the spiritual aspect of infertility and develop/maintain a hope-filled focus.
  • Take part in activities that will increase your joy.
  • Spend time being refreshed by God’s love.
  • Take advantage of a low registration fee. The cost of workshop materials, activities and 5 meals would be covered in your registration fee.

This is just the thing you need.

Fill out the form below and we’ll keep you posted with new details.

5 MORE Bible Verses Every Infertile Woman Needs to Know

Posted on by Evangeline

Sunset CloudsI paused as I wrote the title of this blog, wondering if I should give it a different title. As a big proponent of making sure that the words you speak about yourself are positive, typing “Infertile Woman” in my title gave me pause. The Bible tells us that the words we speak (and the labels we attach to ourselves) carry the power of life or death (Proverbs 18:21).

If you are struggling with infertility, do you label yourself as “an infertile woman?” I think we need to come up with some other label that designates you as a someone who is filled with hope for becoming a mother, not someone who dooms herself to endure barrenness.  Got any suggestions? I’d love to hear about them. Please put them in the comments section below.

Back to the Bible verses. I wrote a post in February listing five verses that would be helpful in developing or maintaining hope for having a child. Here are five more that should be helpful:

John 17:23 (NLT)- “…you love them as much as you love me [Jesus]”

Lamentations 3:26 (NKJV)- “It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.”

Hebrews 13: 5 (NLT)- “For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

1 John 5:4 (NLT)- “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.”

1 John 5:14, 15 (NIV)- “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.  

What other bible verses do you depend on to give you hope? Please share them below.

Ridiculous Hope

Posted on by Evangeline

Romans 4:18 (NLT) tells us how Abraham had ridiculous hope—“Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing that he would become the father of many nations.”

Abraham believed God’s promise. Even when there was no reason to hope— Sarah had been barren for decades and he was nearly 100 years old—Abraham kept believing that they would have a child. Their predicament made hope seem nonsensical, even laughable. But Abraham kept hoping.

This wasn’t the first time Abraham had experienced and maintained ridiculous hope. God told him to leave his extended family (very unusual in that culture) and go to a different land, promising him that he would be blessed and become great.  Abraham made a decision to step out and find out. The promises came true as Abraham trusted God.

I think Abraham was an outstanding example of how to have ridiculous hope in the midst of infertility. He opened himself to hear from God. He trusted what God said. So much so, that he changed his name from Abram, which means “exalted father”  , to Abraham, which means “father of many nations.” Imagine hearing other people call him father of multitudes when he and Sarah didn’t even have one child!  Think of the ridicule he must have experienced.  That required having faith in what God had said, trusting that what God had promised would indeed come to pass.

Repeatedly hearing that description of himself , through others calling his name, surely must have built Abraham’s faith (faith comes by hearing–Romans 10:17). There was another factor that increased Abraham’s hope for a child and faith in God’s promise. We learn in Romans 4:20  (YLT) that he “was strengthened in faith, having given glory to God.” The act of praising God, acknowledging His majesty and honoring Him by the words that Abraham spoke, helped to build up his faith.

He had ridiculous hope in God, viewing Him as the only One who could give him all that he desired.

What will it take for you to have ridiculous hope?

Original Image courtesy of Michal Marcol/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Original Image courtesy of Michal Marcol/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

God’s Promises of Fertility

Posted on by Evangeline

I hope you’ll be encouraged by this excerpt, which is one of the daily readings from my devotional e-book, “A Seed of Hope–God’s Promises of Fertility.”

Confidence

“Now thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ…”

~ 2 Corinthians 2:14 ~

Confidence. It means trusting in the abilities, strengths, integrity, or faithfulness of someone or some thing. Typically, we willingly speak out boldly about people when we are confident in them. We are told in 1 John 5:14 that having confidence in God means that we believe that He hears us when we pray according to His Word and that He will grant what we ask. Part of your battle plan against infertility must include increasing your confidence in God’s love for you.

Having confidence in others, even God, may sometimes be difficult.  Have you ever had trouble letting someone else be in charge? I have. Have you ever wanted someone else to take control of a situation and allowed him or her to do so, only to snatch it right back because you didn’t like how he or she was doing it? Maybe that’s what you’re experiencing with God—not trusting Him enough to completely let go of your circumstances and allowing Him to be in control. If so, you’ve got to get over the fear of what will happen if you’re not in control and instead, trust that His way is a better way. Develop a positive expectation of what will happen when He’s in control.

That’s what my husband and I experienced in our battle against infertility. As engineers, we both were good planners and detail-oriented. We had our lives planned out and thought we knew exactly when we’d start having children. We’d planned to wait until we had been married for 3-4 years, and of course we expected the pregnancy to happen within three months after we first started “trying”. On 6/2/86, I wrote in my journal: “Freeman and I are preparing to start pregnancy in July/August.” Well try as we may, our plan did not work.  It didn’t happen in July or August. Neither did it happen by the end of December. And so began the journey of going from doctor to doctor to see what was wrong with me and who could fix it. That journey did not last long before we decided we’d had enough. We clearly saw our need to develop confidence in God. We had to become better listeners to Him, through prayer and reading His Word, so we could follow His directions and find rest in His plan.

Speak the Word: I submit myself to God and His plan because I am confident that He always causes me to triumph in Christ Jesus.

More Encouragement: Hebrews 10:35,36; 1 John 5:14,15

I hope you’ll share this with others who need encouragement in their struggle. Remember, God loves YOU and He does not withhold good things from his children.

Benefit from having hope-filled daily readings like this at your fingertips. Check out the sample or purchase your devotional, “A Seed of Hope–God’s Promises of Fertility,”  on  Smashwords.