Tag: Infertility

Monday’s Marinade :: Your True Source

Posted on by Evangeline

We all tend to look in a lot of different directions for the source of something good we’d like to have.

Today, start your week by meditating about how God is the unfailing Source of everything that is good.

Monday’s Marinade is provided to you as a means of “soaking yourself” in the hope-filled Word of God at the beginning of your week.  Repeatedly think about this and quietly say it to yourself.  Marinate and season your week with hope and a confident expectation of good things happening!

Here’s your spiritual marinade to remember your true source:

Monday's Marinade Ps 37-7

Communication During Infertility

Posted on by Evangeline

Communication in a marriage is of utmost importance; it is critical if the marriage is going to be the best it can be. Without open and authentic communication, intimacy is negatively affected and that in itself opens the door to other problems. 

Mark 10:9 – What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

James 1:19 – Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.

Find help about how to strengthen your marriage during infertility in my book, “Infertility Sucks! How to Maintain Hope in Your Marriage During Infertility.”

Today’s post is taken from my friend’s blog over at In-Due-Time. Caroline Harries’ husband, Colby, shares great insights about maintaining open communication and expressing from the heart during their infertility journey. 

Communication is vital to relationships and essential to marriages. We have all heard, experienced, and accepted this important truth. Yet it is these types of foundational truths that we can also take for granted and miss if we become complacent. And communicating specifically in the area of a marriage that is going through infertility is something that has come up for us numerous times. I recently realized where I may have missed key communication that caused recurring heartache for us. Hopefully this will help other couples identify a potential area of hurt and miscommunication.

Read more…

Communication in Marriage

What do you do to maintain open communication with your spouse? 

Focus Friday – Promise Made, Promise Kept

Posted on by Evangeline

Not many of us experience “a promise made, a promise kept” with other people. But the good thing is that we can count on God to keep every promise He has made.

God has made many promises to you and He will do what He said He would do. Find His promise about your situation in His Word. Expect Him to fulfill it!

Speak this Word to yourself throughout the day– by doing so, you’ll encourage yourself and maintain clarity about His will for you.

Promise

 

An Adoption Story of Hope

Posted on by Evangeline

I subscribe to a number of emailed newsletters that help me become a better author, a better business woman, and especially, a better person. I recently received one from life coach, Valorie Burton. In it, she shared exciting and encouraging news—along with her struggles of conceiving over the age of 40 and a miscarriage. This is her personal story of how her dream to become a mommy has come true. I share it, with her permission, because I think it will encourage you to not give up hope, even if adoption is is not the path to parenthood that you choose.

 Valorie’s Story:

My lifelong dream has come true. Our lives have changed dramatically and beautifully in the last month. Since marrying my husband in 2013, I’ve been a “bonus” mom to two sweet, energetic, loving little girls. And now, God has seen fit to expand our family with a beautiful baby boy we’ve been privileged to adopt!  That’s right. I’ve become a mommy.

If you’ve read my books or followed me for a while, you know this has been a dream deferred, but I have never given up on the vision I’ve sensed deep in my spirit for marriage and family.  At times, I have felt frustrated, helpless, and discouraged, but I refused to give up hope. I could not.  To give up hope would be to give up on God. As I stand in the midst of this vision of love that has unfolded, I feel led to share my lessons learned so I can encourage you to persevere towards your own vision – whatever that vision might be:   

  1. Keep hoping.
    Without hope, there is no vision. When you stop hoping, you start settling. Be relentless and focused. At times, it may even appear you are delusional to keep hoping. So what! Keep believing in your vision and make your decisions, whether about relationships, finances, career, that honor your ultimate goal.
      
  2. Don’t let disappointments become your destination.
    Separation and divorce. Navigating the tumultuous dating landscape of Atlanta. Trying to conceive over 40. Miscarrying twins. All have been my reality in the last seven years. Each could have become a bitter destination, except for this: I refused to see my disappointments as a permanent destination.  Some were devastating detours. I had to stop journeying for a while and recover. But I made a decision to be better and not bitter after each one. I made a decision not to get stuck staring at the obstacles before me, but to look up and remember the vision in my heart. That vision compelled me to keep hoping and keep moving forward.
      
  3. Be open to a path that looks different than you expected.
    It is easy to be rigid about how your dream must come together. Don’t. Be open to divine orchestration. Let go of your need to control the “how” of your vision so you can stay focused on the “why” – which leads me to this last point …
      
  4. Stay focused on the PURPOSE of your vision more than the excitement of it.
    At points, I began to doubt whether I would ever become a mother, and before that, whether I would ever find the kind of love I believe in.  A transformational message emerged from my doubt, though. I asked myself, “What if you never marry?” “What if you never have a child?” And I answered my “What if” questions. Here’s what I realized:  The world would not come to an end, so I better learn to be happy regardless of the outcome! If I didn’t get married or have children, I would live my life single without children and I would choose to have an incredible life. There are many women I greatly admire who are single without children – and happy, purposeful, loved and loving. So then, what would be the purpose of marriage and family in my life?  That is the question I needed to answer for myself.  I don’t believe that having a child is about me becoming a mom. I believe it is about having the blessed opportunity to nurture and grow a child God has seen fit to place in my care.  What an honor. It is about him, not me.  And perhaps that is the shift in thinking that shifted my life and brought us this amazing, perfect little boy for us. 

A Call to Action for you:  Don’t give up on God (Genesis 18:14). Stay connected to Him through His promises found in His Word. Hear His quiet voice within you giving you wisdom about how to proceed along your path. You can find more encouragement in A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility.

A Seed of Hope
A Seed of Hope: God’s Promises of Fertility by Evangeline Colbert

Focus Friday – Believe It

Posted on by Evangeline

Believe - FaithBelieve.

It means to be fully persuaded by someone or something. Are you fully persuaded by what God has said and what Jesus has done about your situation? Have you cut off all other options and decided  to believe that God’s Word is your truth?

Focus on the following scripture throughout the day because God’s Word is Truth. Speak this Word to yourself throughout the day– by doing so, you’ll encourage yourself!

“I have sworn by my own name;

I have spoken the truth

I will never go back on my word.”

Isaiah 45:23a  [NLT]

Infertility – Where Does Most of Your Help Come From?

Posted on by Evangeline

Psalm 121 [NKJV] opens by asking, “Where does my help come from?”Infertility - change your focus - looking unto Jesus

There were countless times when I wondered who was available to help me during my struggle with infertility. Doctors could only do so much in their role as a medical professional. Friends could sympathize but they couldn’t truly understand what I was going through.They had not experienced falling into the pit of infertility. Family members were supportive but couldn’t identify with the struggle either. My husband, even though he was kind and loving toward me, was also in the struggle and therefore  looking for support as well.

It seemed no matter where I looked, there was no one in my sphere of influence that could be the principal source of help that I needed. But, I learned that when looking for help, the quickest way to get it was to look to Jesus (Hebrews 12:2). He could identify with my physical and emotional pain. He was my Savior. He was my Champion.

He was the one who could do something about my problems— when I stopped looking at the problems and fixed my focus on Him.

Why You Need to Have a HOPE-FILLED Focus During Infertility

Posted on by Evangeline

Hope Filled FocusGod said He wants men and women to be fruitful and multiply (Genesis 1:28). His desire is for humanity to produce godly, prosperous families. He loves us all so much and He wants to bless us abundantly. One of His many blessings includes having children.

Many times, when infertility (“barrenness” as it is called in the Bible) strikes a husband and wife, the couple’s focus tends to only be on their inability to reproduce. Proverbs 23:7 declares that what a person continually thinks about is what he/she becomes. This means what we put our attention to, or what we focus on the most will expand in our lives. What you think about, over and over and over again is what will manifest in your life. This suggests that focusing on your present inability to conceive will not change it.

That’s why it’s imperative that you focus on God and not on the problem of infertility. In the Bible’s account of Abraham and Sarah, Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say, “It’s hopeless. This hundred year old body could never father a child.” Nor was he discouraged by Sarah’s decades of infertility and completely give up on the hope of having a child with her. He focused on God’s promise to him, confident that God would make good on what He had said.

Think and meditate with confidence on His promise in Deuteronomy 7:14. Have confidence in God’s unconditional love for you. Barrenness is not what God desires for His children. Trust His Word and His love for you. Have confidence that He wants you to be fruitful. Focus on that!

“You shall be blessed above all peoples; there will be no male or female barren among you or among your cattle.” Deuteronomy 7:14 NASB

 

Monday’s Marinade – Here’s the Ultimate Password

Posted on by Evangeline

Monday's MarinadeMonday’s Marinade is provided to you as a means of “soaking yourself” in the hope-filled Word of God at the beginning of your week. Start your week by meditating (thinking and muttering to yourself) on this Word. It’s important to know the password when you’re on the other side of a closed door, whether it’s digital or not.  There’s an ultimate password for when you want to enter into God’s presence. Read the passage below to find out what it is.

  Be sure to marinate your week with hope and a confident expectation of good things happening!

Here’s your spiritual marinade for this week:

Monday's Marinade-Psalm 100

Image of marinade from Caviartaste.wordpress.com.

Independence Day

Posted on by Evangeline

Looking for freedom? For independence from things that have kept a darkness hovering over your life?

Today, in America, we are celebrating our country’s independence from being ruled by another entity. On July 4, 1776,  the Declaration of Independence was adopted by the Continental Congress,  declaring that the thirteen American colonies, then at war with Great Britain, regarded themselves as  independent of the British Empire. The people of these colonies formed a new nation—the United States of America. The price for their freedom was paid by others whose blood was shed on the battlefield.

Our lives as believers in Jesus Christ are much like this. After having lived under the sovereignty of  Satan, we make a declaration of independence from his rule, choosing instead to be under the sovereignty of Jesus. We transition from a kingdom of  heavy and burdensome darkness into one of  beautiful life-filled light. We regard ourselves as independent of the enemy of our lives. We choose to be dependent upon the One who loves us with an unfailing love. His love removes burdens and brings light and a lightness to our lives because He’s the One who keeps all His promises about doing us good.

Jesus is the One who wants us to be free of every influence of darkness in our body, mind, and spirit.

For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son. Colossians 1:13

Experience independence on a deeper level today, knowing that the price for your freedom was paid by another— Jesus. He gives you freedom from every bondage, addiction, and disease,  because the price for it has already been paid…on the cross.

Celebrate your independence!

Remember to pray that  America will be a nation truly “under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for ALL.”

Focus Friday - Happy Birthday America

Focus Friday – You Are Not a Loser

Posted on by Evangeline

As a trustee at my church, I sometimes go to unlock the property so that a contractor can get in and make repairs. Recently, a contractor lost his keys to his truck and got frustrated that he couldn’t find them. He retraced his steps over and over, trying to see where he had set them down while he had done his work. Finally his frustration came to its tipping point because of fear of not finding the keys. What came out of his mouth shocked me. No, he didn’t start cussing. He started calling himself a loser, a dummy, and an idiot. The negative self-talk that came out of his mouth grieved me. What must this 50-year-old man have been told about himself growing up that he would say those things to himself? It’s sad that someone thinks of himself in that way. How could he have gotten so comfortable with thinking and speaking negative words to himself that he would say those thoughts out loud in front of a stranger?

Ever found yourself thinking and saying negative things about yourself, even jokingly calling yourself a loser in some way? Watch this video then read Romans 8:31 (below) to focus on God’s love for you.

Here’s a quick Focus Friday visit from me to remind you that with God on your side, you are NOT a loser!

Romans 8:31-39 (The Message Bible)

“So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”

The Rest of the Story

In case you’re wondering, the contractor found his keys…they had fallen under the rear bumper of his truck. They were right there all along.

Under what circumstances do you find typically negative self talk coming out of your mouth?

Is fear the trigger?