Here’s an excerpt from an email newsletter I received from  a friend, Dr. Nadia Brown of Doyenne Leadership Institute, regarding her struggles with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). 

I hope it encourages you in some way to know that you are not alone in the infertility journey. Keep your hope strong and focused!

My very concerned husband asked me if I were feeling okay after another night of me not sleeping well. During the conversation he asked the question “have you gained weight”?

Yikes! Did he really just ask me that? He has NEVER asked me that.

For those that don’t know my husband, he didn’t ask the question out of malice or ill-will, he was sincerely trying to analyze the situation so that he could fix it and I could sleep.

But did he have to ask me that question?

Yes, I’ve gained weight and it’s very noticeable… to me. My jeans don’t fit the way they used to and my hormones have been a raging hot mess. Despite my efforts of maintaining my eating regimen, it just was not paying off when it came to those lovely three digits on that scale.

It has been one of those weeks where you walk by the scale and give it the stank eye while secretly wishing you could just smash it all to pieces.

Several years ago, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which is an endocrine disorder where a woman’s hormones are completely and utterly out of whack! (Dr. Nadia’s non-medical definition).

Some of the symptoms are infertility, acne, and weight gain especially around the middle.  Doctors often share the grim news that not only will it be difficult or impossible to get pregnant it may also be difficult (or impossible) to lose weight!

Why am I sharing this?

Because whether you want to admit it or not, the way you feel about yourself and your overall health impact your performance at work. It is even more frustrating when you feel like you are doing everything right and yet you’re still not seeing the results you want to see.

This week with getting back into the groove of business and working on my new project has been stressful in and of itself. Add in the fact that I’m not feeling my best and I don’t feel that I look my best added insult to injury.

It has been difficult to focus due to a lack of sleep and because of my type A personality I tend to just say “I need to work a little harder”. I just need to be more disciplined and it will get better.

That’s where my coach comes in. As we were talking, she could tell that something wasn’t right and instead of saying “Nothing” (the standard lie so many women tell when someone asks what’s wrong) I shared with her what was going on.

It’s not always easy to be vulnerable and share that not only is something wrong, but despite your best efforts you don’t seem to be able to fix it.

Her response was, “Be easy on yourself”.

It wasn’t a “get out of jail free” card that meant I no longer had to work hard and handle my business, but it was permission to admit that there are some things that are out of my control. It was permission to acknowledge that I won’t have all of the answers, but when I am physically, emotionally, and hormonally off it affects every single area of my life whether I like it or not.

Sometimes your support team isn’t there to help you do anything major except to remind you to give yourself a break. Everything isn’t going to be perfect and there are some things that are beyond your immediate control.

After our conversation, she forwarded me the contact information of someone who could relate to what I was going through in case I wanted to talk about it more. Not only could she relate, but she shared the findings of her personal research along with her story.

While reading the contact’s story detailing her journey with PCOS, her findings and her approach I began to not only feel better, but I began to see that I had options beyond 1) keep doing what I’ve been doing or 2) just give up altogether.

Three years ago when I decided to make some serious changes in my health, it paid off big. Not only did I lose weight and feel great, but was able to stop taking asthma and allergy medications after 20 years! It was nothing short of miraculous. So surely, if I just stayed the course it would help with this too, right?

Maybe not.

The former process just didn’t fit my life and my new hectic schedule. It not only no longer served me, but it frankly wasn’t working. Now I may have found another way. In reading her story and her research, I found an option that not only fits my lifestyle, but also fits my desire to take a more holistic approach to my health.

I had a choice to make. Was I going to sit there and whine about it or was I going to do something about it?

I could make the choice to continue doing things the way that I have been or I could try something new. By making minor shifts in my daily routine and actions, I could have a major impact on my mood, my health, and my waistline.**excerpt from Dr. Nadia’s soon to be released book ~ Leading Like a Lady: How to Shatter Your Inner Glass Ceiling

Note: This is not a fad diet. As a matter of fact, she recommends you throw out the word D-I-E-T! Can I get an “AMEN”?

What is going on in your world right now that you may need to evaluate? The definition for insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Even things that we deem good may no longer serve us for where we are and where we want to go.

Instead of beating yourself up about it, why not open up and see if there might be a better way? Be easy on yourself.