If you’re struggling with infertility, you’re probably already dreading this coming Sunday– Mother’s Day 2014. But here’s a word of encouragement: STOP! 🙂
There are still 5 more days before that Day. If you’re already dreading it, you’re probably experiencing some stress. A day that is meant to celebrate your mother and her maternal love for you should not be allowed stress you out.
Believe me, I understand through personal experience, the mounting Mother’s Day pressure that has begun (probably even before this week). And, if allowed, it could continue to grow by the weekend. But the woman who started this Mother’s Day movement in 1908 never had the intention that it would become a day to make Potential Moms feel embarrassed, stressed, inferior, or depressed. Her desire was that each family would honor its mother, as she said,
“I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother’s day commemorating her for the matchless service she renders to humanity in every field of life. She is entitled to it.” ~Anna Jarvis
Somehow, we’ve turned getting through Mother’s Day into getting through Mother’s Week and unfortunately, that’s of our own doing. I encourage you to not allow dread to influence this entire week as it progresses. Dread promotes stress and stress is no good for you.
Instead, make a choice to change your focus. Choose to focus on good things. Focus on celebrating your mother and her love for you. Focus on the motherly love shown to you by others throughout your life. And if neither of those work to remove/reduce the dread, focus on God’s love for you.
This activity might help– Make a list of what kind of loving and honorable traits you want to have when you become a mother. At the end of the list, write a prayer to God to help you exhibit those attributes. Tuck that list away somewhere and consider it a seed for your future as a mom.
What are the attributes you want to model for your child so that he/she knows that they are loved?
Anna Jarvis Quote Source: Wikipedia
Amen!!!! I love this!!! So many girls think it’s the worst day ever and it breaks my heart! THanks for spreading the word that it doesn’t have to be!
Thanks Caroline, I’m glad you see the value of this “focus shift”. I really hope this helps many women get through the next few days.
I really don’t want to spend the day feeling sorry for myself. My was to go to church and then spend the day with the only baby I may ever have,, my little Springer Spaniel. It is just so very painful for me today. Not only have I been struggling with infertility for years, my mom is gone and I am 50 and according to our judgemental society way beyond the set realm to have a child. It is just so painful. I mean I get through it normally by believing god still has something left for me. He gave me this desire for a reason, he knows me more than I know myself. I just can’t pick my self up and go to church and celebrate this day. It is not really jealousy, it is feeling like no one understands and they think it will just go away. My husband does not get it at alll. I don’t know why because nine years ago we both suffered a lot of pain as we went through a painful miscarriage. Also I need him to understand that losing my mom just five years ago was beyond comprehension. My mom and I used to talk on this day and she made me feel better. She miscarraige too. I feel like i have no one to talk to. So I do feel like this is the worst day.
Katanya, I hope that your Mother’s Day experience turned out better than you had expected. I encourage you to take some quiet time and think about where your focus is right now. Infertility has a way of slithering into every facet of our lives and distracting us from the good. It makes us focus only on what’s missing. It gradually blinds us to the good things that are happening in our lives and keeps from experiencing the fullness of joy. May I suggest that you “make an appointment with yourself” everyday for the next 3 weeks and use that time to shift your focus on the good things God has already done for you? It’s imperative that we encourage ourselves no matter how dark our circumstances may be. Jesus loves you. He is the answer to EVERY problem and He has made a way. Praying for you to experience a shift of momentum that takes you to the JOY side of life.
In a moment of wallowing in my misery, I stumbled upon this post by google searching images on “mothers day infertility”. The image that came up was the text from Philippians 4:8. I instantly felt like it was God prompted message of rebuke. Thank you for reminding me to keep my attitude in check and to remember the great love God has for me. At times it is easy to let myself dwell on negative things and I know this does no good. God is good, and is growing me to reflect his image more through this experience. I am ever grateful for this lesson.
I’m so glad you “stumbled” upon my blog. You’re right—it does you no good to dwell on negative circumstances. I hope you’ll remember to dwell on God’s love for you everyday and intentionally take advantage of His joy by dwelling on His Word instead of the negative that you see or feel. Blessings to you as you keep your head lifted above your circumstances!