Category: Infertility

What About Me, God?

Posted on by Evangeline
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Have you ever found yourself asking the question, “What about me, God?” If you’re struggling with infertility, you might ask that question frequently. Maybe every time you see your friend with her newborn. Or when you’re at the park and see kids on the playground. Even at church when parents have their infant dedicated to the Lord. Your heart may cry out often and that’s OK.  Just make sure you’re listening for His answer just as frequently!

How do you attune your ears to hear Him?

How do you listen for His encouraging words to soothe the pain of waiting?

Do you focus on His love for you?

Sometimes we get so focused on the problem of infertility, we forget to look to the Source of the answer to the problem— God’s love. You may not doubt that God can heal you. But do you find yourself doubting that He will heal you? Jesus, in Matthew 8:3, reassured the leper who wanted to be healed that He was not only able to heal him but that He was also willing to heal him. Then, in His loving way, Jesus reached out and touched the man who had a very contagious disease and had not been touched by another human being in who knows how long. That touch of compassion helped the man feel accepted and loved.

Can you see yourself in that situation? Can you see that Jesus loves YOU? That He wants you to believe that He is willing to change your circumstances? Jesus was the physical manifestation of God’s love (John 3:16). When you look to Him as being your source, you stay focused on the display of God’s love for you and begin to see His Light and Life in your life.

Remember, let your focus be on Jesus (Hebrews 12:2) so you can grow in your confidence of God’s love for you. You’ll experience more peace and maintain hope as keep the eyes of your heart on the manifestation of His love for you.

5 MORE Bible Verses Every Infertile Woman Needs to Know

Posted on by Evangeline

Sunset CloudsI paused as I wrote the title of this blog, wondering if I should give it a different title. As a big proponent of making sure that the words you speak about yourself are positive, typing “Infertile Woman” in my title gave me pause. The Bible tells us that the words we speak (and the labels we attach to ourselves) carry the power of life or death (Proverbs 18:21).

If you are struggling with infertility, do you label yourself as “an infertile woman?” I think we need to come up with some other label that designates you as a someone who is filled with hope for becoming a mother, not someone who dooms herself to endure barrenness.  Got any suggestions? I’d love to hear about them. Please put them in the comments section below.

Back to the Bible verses. I wrote a post in February listing five verses that would be helpful in developing or maintaining hope for having a child. Here are five more that should be helpful:

John 17:23 (NLT)- “…you love them as much as you love me [Jesus]”

Lamentations 3:26 (NKJV)- “It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.”

Hebrews 13: 5 (NLT)- “For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

1 John 5:4 (NLT)- “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.”

1 John 5:14, 15 (NIV)- “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.  

What other bible verses do you depend on to give you hope? Please share them below.

Ridiculous Hope

Posted on by Evangeline

Romans 4:18 (NLT) tells us how Abraham had ridiculous hope—“Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping—believing that he would become the father of many nations.”

Abraham believed God’s promise. Even when there was no reason to hope— Sarah had been barren for decades and he was nearly 100 years old—Abraham kept believing that they would have a child. Their predicament made hope seem nonsensical, even laughable. But Abraham kept hoping.

This wasn’t the first time Abraham had experienced and maintained ridiculous hope. God told him to leave his extended family (very unusual in that culture) and go to a different land, promising him that he would be blessed and become great.  Abraham made a decision to step out and find out. The promises came true as Abraham trusted God.

I think Abraham was an outstanding example of how to have ridiculous hope in the midst of infertility. He opened himself to hear from God. He trusted what God said. So much so, that he changed his name from Abram, which means “exalted father”  , to Abraham, which means “father of many nations.” Imagine hearing other people call him father of multitudes when he and Sarah didn’t even have one child!  Think of the ridicule he must have experienced.  That required having faith in what God had said, trusting that what God had promised would indeed come to pass.

Repeatedly hearing that description of himself , through others calling his name, surely must have built Abraham’s faith (faith comes by hearing–Romans 10:17). There was another factor that increased Abraham’s hope for a child and faith in God’s promise. We learn in Romans 4:20  (YLT) that he “was strengthened in faith, having given glory to God.” The act of praising God, acknowledging His majesty and honoring Him by the words that Abraham spoke, helped to build up his faith.

He had ridiculous hope in God, viewing Him as the only One who could give him all that he desired.

What will it take for you to have ridiculous hope?

Original Image courtesy of Michal Marcol/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Original Image courtesy of Michal Marcol/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

5 More Bible Verses Every Infertile Woman Needs to Know

Posted on by Evangeline

I paused as I wrote the title of this blog, wondering if I should give it a different title. As a big proponent of making sure that the words you speak about yourself are positive, typing “Infertile Woman” in my title made me a bit uneasy. The Bible tells us that the words we speak (and the labels we attach to ourselves) carry the power of life or death (Proverbs 18:21).

If you are struggling with infertility, do you label yourself as “an infertile woman?” I think we need to come up with some other label that designates you as a someone who is filled with hope for becoming a mother, not someone who dooms herself to endure barrenness.  Got any suggestions? I’d love to hear about them. Please put them in the comments section below.

Back to the Bible verses.

I wrote a post in February listing five verses that would be helpful in developing or maintaining hope for having a child. Here are five more:

Sunset CloudsJohn 17:23 (NLT)- “…you love them as much as you love me [Jesus]”

Lamentations 3:26 (NKJV)- “It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.”

Hebrews 13: 5 (NLT)- “For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

1 John 5:4 (NLT)- “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.”

1 John 5:14, 15 (NIV)- “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

 

What other bible verses do you depend on to give you hope?

Sharing My YouVersion Plan

Posted on by Evangeline

Recently, I received a request from a reader to write a Bible study plan that specifically addresses infertility and post it on the YouVersion Bible website.  [According to their website, “YouVersion is a simple, ad-free Bible that brings God’s Word into your daily life,” via your phone, tablet or computer.] YouVersion_logoREV

Because I know how much enlightenment comes from reading the Bible, I thought it was a wonderful idea and followed up on that suggestion.

I’m glad to say that I submitted a proposal to YouVersion and they have approved it! I must now craft a reading plan for them to upload to their site.

Would you please give me some input as to what you would like to have in a Bible reading plan about infertility? Would you want a scriptural guide outlining hope-filled verses to read on a daily, every-other-day, or weekly basis? Or would you prefer a plan that provides devotions for you to read in addition to the verses? Please let me know your preference (and other ideas) in the comments section below. Also, I would appreciate your prayers as I compose this plan. Thank you!

I will let you know when the plan is available for you and others to access on YouVersion. To say the least, I am very excited about providing this resource to bring hope to those in the midst of infertility  and to encourage people around the world that infertility is not too hard for the Lord! (Genesis 8:14)

Don’t Ignore This During Infertility

Posted on by Evangeline
Image courtesy of markuso/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of Markuso/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This is a reprint of a post I shared in 2012. I wanted to share it again because if you’re struggling with infertility, it may prompt you to consider infertility from a different aspect and develop a greater hope.

Don’t ignore the spiritual aspect of infertility.

It is so easy to lose focus on the spiritual nature of infertility when the physical aspect overtakes your daily life. You and your spouse can become so obsessed with finding the cause and the cure for you situation that it can rob you of your peace. When you’re not experiencing peace, you’re likely to ignore the one thing that can bring about the solution you’re looking for.

It is important to strengthen yourself spiritually while dealing with infertility. Acknowledge the need to ask God for wisdom when faced with overcoming the enemy called “Infertility.” It may seem like a Goliath-sized enemy to you, but for God, “Infertility” is already a defeated foe. It is not too hard for Him. God said so when he defeated infertility in Sarah’s life (see Genesis 18:14).

Luke 18:27 states, “And he [Jesus] said, The things which are impossible with men are possible WITH (in close proximity to) God”{emphasis mine}. Join yourself WITH Him by asking for wisdom in the decisions you make, by reading His Word, and by speaking and meditating His Word.

Trust that God’s Word is true for you. It will bring you guidance, comfort, and ultimately, greater peace.

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You!” ~ Isaiah 26:3 NLT

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” ~ John 14:27

The Overwhelming Truth

Posted on by Evangeline

Sunset CloudsIt may seem like a contradiction to say that you believe that your womb is fertile even in the face of experiencing long-term infertility. But when you say the things that God has said, like “none shall be barren” (Deuteronomy 7:14), you are putting yourself in agreement with the Creator of the universe. Remember, with Him, nothing is impossible!

So keep saying and believing the Truth (what God has said in the Bible), rather than the facts of your reality. You’ll see the Truth is powerful enough to overwhelm the facts and make the Truth your new reality!

 

PCOS

Posted on by Evangeline

Here’s an excerpt from an email newsletter I received from  a friend, Dr. Nadia Brown of Doyenne Leadership Institute, regarding her struggles with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). 

I hope it encourages you in some way to know that you are not alone in the infertility journey. Keep your hope strong and focused!

Photo courtesy of Sura Nualpradid/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Photo courtesy of Sura Nualpradid/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My very concerned husband asked me if I were feeling okay after another night of me not sleeping well. During the conversation he asked the question “have you gained weight”?

Yikes! Did he really just ask me that? He has NEVER asked me that.

For those that don’t know my husband, he didn’t ask the question out of malice or ill-will, he was sincerely trying to analyze the situation so that he could fix it and I could sleep.

But did he have to ask me that question?

Yes, I’ve gained weight and it’s very noticeable… to me. My jeans don’t fit the way they used to and my hormones have been a raging hot mess. Despite my efforts of maintaining my eating regimen, it just was not paying off when it came to those lovely three digits on that scale.

It has been one of those weeks where you walk by the scale and give it the stank eye while secretly wishing you could just smash it all to pieces.

Several years ago, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which is an endocrine disorder where a woman’s hormones are completely and utterly out of whack! (Dr. Nadia’s non-medical definition).

Some of the symptoms are infertility, acne, and weight gain especially around the middle.  Doctors often share the grim news that not only will it be difficult or impossible to get pregnant it may also be difficult (or impossible) to lose weight!

Why am I sharing this?

Because whether you want to admit it or not, the way you feel about yourself and your overall health impact your performance at work. It is even more frustrating when you feel like you are doing everything right and yet you’re still not seeing the results you want to see.

This week with getting back into the groove of business and working on my new project has been stressful in and of itself. Add in the fact that I’m not feeling my best and I don’t feel that I look my best added insult to injury.

It has been difficult to focus due to a lack of sleep and because of my type A personality I tend to just say “I need to work a little harder”. I just need to be more disciplined and it will get better.

That’s where my coach comes in. As we were talking, she could tell that something wasn’t right and instead of saying “Nothing” (the standard lie so many women tell when someone asks what’s wrong) I shared with her what was going on.

It’s not always easy to be vulnerable and share that not only is something wrong, but despite your best efforts you don’t seem to be able to fix it.

Her response was, “Be easy on yourself”.

It wasn’t a “get out of jail free” card that meant I no longer had to work hard and handle my business, but it was permission to admit that there are some things that are out of my control. It was permission to acknowledge that I won’t have all of the answers, but when I am physically, emotionally, and hormonally off it affects every single area of my life whether I like it or not.

Sometimes your support team isn’t there to help you do anything major except to remind you to give yourself a break. Everything isn’t going to be perfect and there are some things that are beyond your immediate control.

After our conversation, she forwarded me the contact information of someone who could relate to what I was going through in case I wanted to talk about it more. Not only could she relate, but she shared the findings of her personal research along with her story.

While reading the contact’s story detailing her journey with PCOS, her findings and her approach I began to not only feel better, but I began to see that I had options beyond 1) keep doing what I’ve been doing or 2) just give up altogether.

Three years ago when I decided to make some serious changes in my health, it paid off big. Not only did I lose weight and feel great, but was able to stop taking asthma and allergy medications after 20 years! It was nothing short of miraculous. So surely, if I just stayed the course it would help with this too, right?

Maybe not.

The former process just didn’t fit my life and my new hectic schedule. It not only no longer served me, but it frankly wasn’t working. Now I may have found another way. In reading her story and her research, I found an option that not only fits my lifestyle, but also fits my desire to take a more holistic approach to my health.

I had a choice to make. Was I going to sit there and whine about it or was I going to do something about it?

I could make the choice to continue doing things the way that I have been or I could try something new. By making minor shifts in my daily routine and actions, I could have a major impact on my mood, my health, and my waistline.**excerpt from Dr. Nadia’s soon to be released book ~ Leading Like a Lady: How to Shatter Your Inner Glass Ceiling

Note: This is not a fad diet. As a matter of fact, she recommends you throw out the word D-I-E-T! Can I get an “AMEN”?

What is going on in your world right now that you may need to evaluate? The definition for insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Even things that we deem good may no longer serve us for where we are and where we want to go.

Instead of beating yourself up about it, why not open up and see if there might be a better way? Be easy on yourself.

A Mother’s Day Letter to Pastors

Posted on by Evangeline

As we approach Mother’s Day, I remember how difficult was to get through the Day before I overcame infertility, especially at church. I thought this excerpt from Amy Young’s blog would be good food for thought…especially for pastors as they consider their method of honoring mothers during Sunday’s service.

“To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.”

Mother's day

Empty

Posted on by Evangeline
Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Empty.

It’s hard to get through the day feeling empty. Especially when every day seems to be filled with emptiness.

Empty womb.

Empty arms.

Empty heart.

Emptiness is HEAVY. How can emptiness have weight–isn’t that an oxymoron? I’m not sure how it happens but I know the emotions of emptiness are so heavy and burdensome and yet we readily tote them around as if we have no alternative. What do you do when those feelings of emptiness tempt you to carry them with you throughout your day? What if there was someone who wanted to carry that weight for you? Would you give it up? What if someone offered something else in exchange? Would you take them up on their offer?

Well, that someone is Jesus. He wants you to see Him as your burden lifter; the One who stands at the ready to pick up and carry all the weight of barrenness so that you can be yoked with Him, filled with His Spirit, and experience the fullness of His rest, peace and joy.

Will you let Him?

“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” ~Matthew 11:28

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence…” ~Psalm 16:11 [NIV]